February 1, 2010

License Plate: LADYBOND

Funny she thinks she’s the only one…that dude gets so much poon.


Ninja Sex Party Interview

January 14, 2010

Recently I sat down* with up-and-coming comedy duo Ninja Sex Party for an exclusive interview. In case you aren’t familiar with their work (which has been featured on funny-or-die.com), you can watch their first two online videos here and here.



So I guess we’ll start with the obvious: where did the name Ninja Sex Party come from and who is the group comprised of?

NSP: We’re just two guys, Danny Sexbang (Dan Avidan) and Ninja Brian (Brian Wecht). The name was Dan’s idea, and he came up with it before we ever met. It might have been in a dream one night, or while he was drunk, or both. Do not question our methods.

When did you form and how did you guys meet?

NSP: We met via a mutual friend, Julie Katz (NSP fun fact: she’s the girl in our video “The Decision”). Basically, what happened was that Dan wanted to start a project called Ninja Sex Party, and he asked a bunch of his buds, including Julie, if they knew any musicians. Brian had been coaching a musical improv group with Julie in it, and she put the two of us in touch. We met, and the magic began immediately. This all happened in early 2009, in February or March.

How old are you guys (if a ninja is allowed to reveal his true age)?

NSP: Ninjas do have earthly ages, but in a sense, we have always existed and always shall.

What exactly do you do? Stand-up? Improv? Online videos?

NSP: Ninja Sex Party does live shows and videos. We’ll do short gigs where we perform a few songs, or a longer show in which our songs are incorporated into a narrative structure.

You have videos online with over 20 thousand hits- how did you gain such a following?

NSP: Probably because Donald Glover (Troy from Community) was awesome enough to post our second video “The Decision” on his blog, and a bunch of people picked up on it, including Funny or Die.

What is the budget for your videos?

NSP: We’ve been lucky enough to work with the incredibly talented Jim Turner, who shoots, directs, and edits all our stuff. We’re not rich dudes, and he has been great working with us on a shoestring budget. To directly answer your question: Our budget is basically nonexistent, except for paying Jim. We enlist the help of lots of friends to play different parts, build dummies, and do things on the cheap. If it looks awesome, that’s 100% because of Jim Turner.

The new year is shortly upon us- what aspirations do you have for 2010?

NSP: We want to record an album’s worth of songs (we have 5 already), get a regular slot at UCB or the PIT for an hour-long show, and start performing at festivals. Also, to have lots of sex. Like, lots and lots.

Who gets more chicks between the two of you?

NSP: We make sure to divide all chicks equally between the two of us.

Do you have any children with the many women that you lay? Possibly some that you don’t know about?

NSP: In a way, everyone is a child of Ninja Sex Party. Is that creepy?

Ninja Brian, where did you do your training?

NSP: Ninja Brian is self-taught, having trained strenuously with himself for his entire life. This was done in New Jersey.

Danny, do you only fuck Jewish girls? Do you have ninja training as well? Where do you do your shopping?

NSP: Danny is an equal opportunity sexer, and will sex any woman regardless of race, creed, or sexual orientation.  As for martial arts, he trained with Ninja Brian for three entire weeks (non-consecutive).  He does his shopping in New York City’s many fine costume shops and adult novelty boutiques.

I see NSP is “award winning”, what award did you win?

NSP: In addition to the many homemade awards given by Danny to Ninja Brian, we also won “Best Comedy Video” at Industry Power Play’s international music video competition. Also, “award-winning” should be hyphenated, thanks.

Do you have any tips/pointers for those who may want to be a ninja or get a ridiculous amount of sex?

NSP: Nobody can become a ninja. You either are or are not one, and the trick is lying to yourself if you are not. Self-deception is the first step in NSP’s patented three step program on how to become a ninja. The other two steps are proprietary, but they include the answer to your second question (hint: the trick is to start by having a small amount of ridiculous sex, and to branch out from there.)

Thanks a lot for featuring us on your blog.  We look forward to blowing your whole goddamned mind in the future!

You can catch NSP  Saturday, Jan 23rd at the PIT at 11 PM, and on the High School Talent Show at UCB on Jan 30th at midnight.

NY Post Article

January 12, 2010

I’m mentioned in a NY Post article today about chucklefuckers – girls who like comedians.  Written by the hilarious Mandy Stadtmiller.

Read it here.

December 24, 2009

Can we please watch animal planet? This Snooki girl is really pissing me off.

December 24, 2009

It doesn’t say anything about sexting.

“Hey baby…let’s role play as avatars later tonight…we can intertwine our pony tails if you know what I mean.”

December 24, 2009

You’d think they’d let the Hollister model finish wiping his eye before they took his picture.

“OK, now pretend you’re just waking up…yeah…that’s it…that’s sexy…a little more sleep removal…perfect.”

Coming Soon…

December 7, 2009

When: Friday, January 8th, 2010 at 8:30pm

Where: The Globe – 1879 Palmer Ave. Larchmont, NY 10538

Cost: $15 and no drink minimum.

Let me know if you need tickets! Only a few left! The show is sold out!

December 7, 2009

Sorry I didn’t have any postings in November. No excuse for that, and I will try my best to get back to one posting a day here for December.

Anyways, I’ve been in Colorado the past five days visiting my old college roommate and this place is amazing! Absolutely freezing, but very scenic and excellent skiing.

The only downside to Colorado can be found at Subway. As many of you know, Subway is my favorite sandwich destination. And to my very disliking, I found that they do not honor the $5 footlongs here. Instead, they have $6 footlongs, which is an absolute outcry and needs to be fixed immediately. I have already written the local congressman and I will let you know if any legislation is changed. They even have the nerve to play the $5 footlong commercials on TV!

AAAAAAAAND, they didn’t even accept my Subway rewards card. I’m a fucking Subway black card holder for christ sake! You need to spend over $50,000 a year at Subway to earn one of these! As you can see, I am very upset about this.

December 7, 2009

I’m currently staying in Avon, Colorado. Just a few minutes from Vail. I’m staying with one of my senior year roommates, Mark Kaplan, his two roommates, and their two dogs.

Charlie and Carly are the dog’s names and they are two of the most opposite dogs I’ve ever seen under one roof.



December 7, 2009

Played some old school N64 while in Colorado: Mario Kart, Golden Eye 007, and NBA JAM ’99.

Keith Van Horn on the cover of NBA JAM…must have been a down NBA year if a white guy is on the cover of a basketball video game.